Dear No-Show Wedding Guests,

Thank you for your timely RSVP of yes to our wedding. We were so excited  that you and your family of five (all of whom RSVP’d yes) were going to be in attendance on our big day. We made sure that we had an entire table set up with rented chairs, table cloths, dinnerware, flowers, candles and a cake centerpiece for you and your family. We also spent $300 on food and beverages in anticipation of your attendance. However, when we arrived at the reception, we never saw you. Your family’s table remained empty all evening.

We would just like to take this opportunity to thank you for deviating from your RSVP and not attending our wedding and reception. It really meant a lot to our other guests to have an extra table to rest their drinks and purses on. I also enjoyed the myriad of questions we received all evening from our guests wondering why we had an entire table sitting empty. It allowed us a great opportunity to experience public embarrassment and disappointment. We would also like to commend your family for its maverick-like approach to the wedding fat cat that is the invitation. I mean who are we to expect you to keep your word. Also, thank you for not sending a gift. Your absence was  a shock to us and not receiving a gift from your family on top of that, only increased our sadness, which was great because it gave us more to talk about with our therapists. Thanks again!

Insincerely Yours,

The Wilsons